The following are some important things you should keep in mind when the Coast Guard asks to inspect your vessel:

1) You should NOT hail USCG personnel as ‘scurvy dogs’.

2) A dead man’s chest does NOT qualify as a Personal Flotation Device.

3) Losing a peg leg overboard does NOT merit a Mayday call.

All credit for this goes to my wife (who located the photo and came up with the lines), except for the photo itself which is attributable to the District 9 Coast Guard Public Affairs group and was openly posted on Flickr with the proviso that any subsequent use include attribution.

If anyone has any other suggestions for additional guidelines let's hear them...

Dr. Beer (TM Jay Hersh)