Those are the criteria for the Tom and Jerry party that takes me 102 mi and spend a night or two at the Holiday Inn every year. I picked up the brass and glass instrument set for 2.00 at a gear swap a couple years ago. A bit tarnished so I put them into black walnut cutoff with wane intact. Rustic. Hope the recipient has a cabin in the woods....

Here's the joke I'm taking:

"A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.”

Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.”

Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh --

“We'll put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.""