There are two differences: 1) the kids killed had not not even matured and they had no choice. Their parents moved there and put them in school there. All the the individuals in the service signed up. Also there is some limited possibility that in the service you still can be smart and survive. Maybe less then in previous years but there is always the hope.
My heart goes out to the families in pain. I have no idea what the answer is, there are valid reasons on both sides of the equation for where we are today.
I cruise to avoid situations like this.
Ciao