I have pretty much the same experience as you with regard to pointing under main-only, but don't have a mizzen. As for tactics like backing the main to slow to boat?... much more effective in a sailing dinghy than a larger boat with more mass and sail area. There really isn't much I can control without mechanical assistance (winches or multi-part block) except the sheets in light air -- even my genoa sheets are 2:1. I make sure to take up the tension on the winch before releasing a clutch if the sails are loaded up.

We don't even attempt sailing onto the mooring -- with 28 feet of beam and (usually) a dinghy left hanging on the mooring while we're out sailing... Too much risk of snagging the dinghy painter under the bigger boat or catching the dinghy itself between the hulls if we overshoot and the boat falls off to one side or other. Using the engine allows much greater control and safety.