U.S. Customs and Border Protection…….OUR….Homeland Security.

Well hi there.
Kate and I are half done with this Winter’s sail. We left snowy Annapolis December 18, a day after our very own Jon E left NJ. Racing down the Bay, knowing that lots of snow is going to fall, we got down through Norfolk, and ICW. Cruising that time of year is peaceful, almost everywhere is a place that you’ll be there all by yourself.

As everyone heard, we ran into Jon in Moorehead, spending Christmas Eve and Christmas with him and his new found sweetheart who needed a man’s help to get her cute little butt down the Florida. So I signed him up for the task. Seeing Jon operate in a full cockpit enclosure was a sight to behold. Pictures are coming.

So, after a great offshore sail down the US Coast, and over through the Abacos, then to Eleutheria, across the Middle backs and the Exumas; we headed back across the Stream, a great sail down the Hawk Channel making land fall back at Marathon. So far, in only 7 weeks, its been 2764 miles of sailing with just over 100 gallons of diesel used.

As a good American and responsible boater, I follow the requirements set forth in the Reporting Requirements for pleasure boaters returning from a foreign port. I call the 1-800 number which links me to the US Customs and Border Protection Department located in Miami. I give the Officer the information requested, plus the US Users Decals; he gives me a official entry and routing number and now proceeds to tell me that I with Kate need to get up to Miami to officially clear in person. I tell him kindly that we’re tied up, a major weather front is blowing in and we have no car, and the rental agencies are closed. He tells me “tough luck, that we have 24 hours to get to Miami or Key West”. This is now late Saturday. The Officer tells me that I should untie my boat, if I can’t get a car and sail or motor there. I tell him bull and that I want to speak to his Supervisor. I get the Supervisor, and he tells me the same thing, including that the Key West Office is open on Sunday between 10 and 6PM. I tell him that I can’t get there because of time and no car and convince him to send an Officer to Marathon. The Supervisor then tells me that Key Largo is as far as they can travel. I say OK. Give some guy in the marina $100 for the use of his car and drive with Kate 55 miles to Key Largo. The Officer sent calls me and tells me that he’s waiting at the Key Largo Marriott at 6:30pm when we established a 7:00PM meeting. He’s pissed.

So we arrive at our meeting place and I see TWO official Officers from our US Customs and Border Protection, in official uniforms with guns and a very official car with lights and lots of antennas. I give him our USCG Doc, Passports and Routing numbers. They forget the forms back in Miami and proceed to write our info on the back of a napkin, in the dark. They stop half way through Kate’s last name. They now say “We’re done and to call tomorrow to get a Coast Wise Official Transfer Number”. I say, “I don’t think so”.

We drive back 55 miles to Marathon feeling empty.

The next morning, I borrow the guy’s car once again for another $100 and drive to Key West, the official location for US Customs and Border Protection. We find it, park the car for $10, walk up to the official big doors and It’s locked. The Guard comes, unlocks the door and tell us that the place is closed on Sunday (that is after the Supervisor in Miami tells us its open. The Guard tells us that they, US Customs, are at Key West International Airport. We drive to the Airport, pay $10 for parking again and walk up to the big official US Customs and Border Protection Building with three official cars parked out front.

The place is closed, locked and dark. I’m now getting pissed. I find the Sheriffs Office, go in and explain the situation. He, the Sheriff gives me the “emergency hot line Customs phone number to call. I call that number and no picks up the phone.

Then back to an old number given, and I get Officer number eight, who patches me into a Officer off duty but decides to help and drives to Key West to “Clear us in Officially”. This guy was smart and knew that Key West is closed on Sundays, that the Officers that we met in Key Largo was worthless, and that the system is broken.

Broken, isn’t even the word to describe it. What a screwed up Country. Our Government forgot who pays their salaries. The entire system doesn’t work. I could of bought into this Country anything that I wanted, given it to anyone anywhere.

Now we sit happy, after our official clearance” back home, on sunny Marco Island till the snow melts in Annapolis, running RogueWave with six boats currently under contract. Just goes to show you that one only needs a phone and laptop to run a business.

Stay warm

bernie