This is one of my favorites;

Quote = LiveaboardL AKA Louis Jordan:

"I was rewiring my boat after smoking a little herb and now whenever I run my bilge pump, the bilge water empties into the cockpit while, at the same time, pushing some of the bilge water out of the boat like it should.

When the bilge pump is turned off, the water slowly drains from the cockpit back into the bilge.

Now get this, my other bilge pump sucks water from my cockpit and empties it into the bilge, but on only one side. I think the other side is clogged or something.

So while one bilge pump sucks, the other one blows. Damn I've been watching too much FAP.

Suggestions?"